The Shopkeeper and the Psychopath: A Love Story
by veronicahague
Summary: Giles is thrilled to finally have the Magic Box to himself until Drusilla wanders in looking for a little revenge after Spike offers to kill her to prove his love to Buffy. Set in between season 5 episodes 14  Crush  and 15  I Was Made to Love You .


It had been another one of those days. Rupert Giles sank into one of the high backed wooden chairs he kept around the table in the main room of the Magic Box and considered himself lucky to even be functioning. The chairs were generally only used during Scooby meetings, but today, after the hours of mingling with customers and trying to talk them out of truly inappropriate purchases, he felt he deserved a fifteen minute sit before closing up shop and heading home.

It's not like he had anything planned for the rest of the evening anyhow. Buffy was off patrolling, Willow and Tara were likely going over their notes before taking their exams the following week, Xander was likely asleep somewhere, and Anya was …

"Humans are so stupid."

…Well, Anya was currently behind the cash register, methodically counting the till and looking generally pleased with herself.

"I mean, this one man I was dealing with earlier actually believed me when I said that Peruvian beetroot was more expensive than the Argentinean variety just because it was grown at an 85 degree angle rather than the full 90." She smiled as she put the last of the counted bills back in the register, printing off a copy of the total receipt and closing it down for the night.

"Anya, we mustn't mock the customers behind their backs. They're the reason you're able to fondle the money you do love so much at the end of the night." He pulled his glasses off and yawned as he rubbed the lenses against his sweater.

"Besides," he added as an afterthought. "Peruvian beetroot is worth the added expense because it's planted during quarter-moon."

Anya ignored him and came to sit down in one of the other chairs around the table. "I'd like to talk to you about a raise."

Giles, mid-yawn, nearly choked on his tongue. "A raise? Anya, the Magic Box opened just a few weeks ago. You've been working here hardly a month and you're already looking for a higher salary?"

"Hey, I don't make the rules. The only way to make it to the top of the ladder that is the American economy is to claw your way up." She looked at him in that direct, unblinking way of hers. "Without me, you'd already be bankrupt and seeing a mental health professional about your crowd-induced stress and money woes."

In lieu of answering, Giles put his glasses back on and stared at the tabletop in front of him.

"Thank you so much for your candour, but I hardly think I'd be left in such dire circumstances. Regardless, this is not a discussion I'd like to have at the moment. Aside from being wildly inappropriate, I'm far too exhausted to be of any use to bargain with. Why don't you go home, hmm? You're done for the night."

Anya sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I suppose I could, but Xander said he was working late tonight, and that usually means he's too exhausted to get naked when he gets home." Anya paused as a speculative look crossed her face. Clearly oblivious to Giles' extreme discomfort, she continued a moment later.

"Well, obviously not too tired to get naked, but too tired for the fun stuff that comes with being naked. The flexible stuff." Giles blinked and stood up forcefully.

"Well, that's just…erm…Anya, I really think you've done everything you can here. Why don't you go home and enjoy the rest of your evening. Please."

"But I still need to do inventory - " She started to protest, but Giles cut her off.

"No, really, it's fine. I've been meaning to go through the books and cross-reference the inventory, and it's a job I'd really rather do alone. Go home."

Anya sighed and muttered something about people being ungrateful and left Giles alone in the store with nothing but his own thoughts and the inventory registry to distract him. _Ah, blissful silence_ He thought, as he began going sorting the stock. The quiet didn't last long, however. Giles had barely managed to get through one shelf when the door burst open accompanied by the forceful tinkling of the bell above the frame.

"Anya, I told you I didn't need your - "

He paused when he got a look at the person standing in his store.

" - Help." He finished weakly.

Quickly registering what items around him could suitably be wielded against his visitor in self-defense, Giles couldn't help but wish, however futilely, that Anya would come back after all.

"Surprise is the bane of the rook in the castle," the woman murmured softly as she drifted deeper into the store.

"Drusilla. What an unexpected … treat."

She looked just as he remembered, waif-like and pale as cream with raven hair that fell in dark curtains around her face.

"My Willy has left me for the Hunter of Darkness."

Giles raised his eyebrows as his brain whirled trying to make sense of her words. It was impossible, he eventually realized, for there was no sense that could be made. This was Drusilla, he reminded himself. Soulless vampire, protégé of Darla and Angelus, and spiritual conduit for the vampire community at large. Not to mention completely insane.

"I beg your …" he started, then dropped the pretense of politeness. "I mean …What?"

Drusilla glided forward, her clear blue eyes flashing gold as her face slid into its vampiric mask.

"The prophecy girl has turned my star into ash. She took my love from me. Now I shall do the same."

Giles blinked in confusion. "The prophecy girl? You mean Buffy?- " Drusilla's fangs slid elegantly out of her mouth as her lips parted.

"I'll take her eyes from her. No one to watch her now." She drifted closer, her movements smooth and graceful as a dancer but deadly as a guillotine. Giles backed up against the wall, looking wildly around for something, anything, to fight her with.

His eyes lighted on the stool he kept by the counter, and with a move far less graceful than he would have liked, smashed it over her head.

"This naughty boy will never eat sugared plumbs again." She scolded, laughing as she started to ascend over the counter. Equal parts confused and terrified, Giles did the only thing he could think of. He screamed and flailed his arms against her encroaching embrace. Drusilla was dangerously near to closing the distance between them when she stopped abruptly in her tracks. A sickly sweet scent filled the air, and Giles dropped his gaze to see the hem of his pants wet with a pinkish liquid. He looked at the counter to see a broken bottle sitting next to the register and supposed he must have broken it in the clamour.

If only he could remember what was in the bottle! He hoped he wouldn't develop warts all over his feet or something equally ghastly. Whatever it was, it had stopped Drusilla's impending attack. Speaking of Drusilla, Giles looked up to assess the situation and felt his face freeze in an expression of consternation. She stared back at him, her face returned to normal and her eyes once again a light shade of blue. Beautiful, she was so beautiful. How had he never noticed before?

He stared at her in wonderment, taking in every inch of her appearance. She drifted slowly towards him, but he was no longer afraid. How could he fear such beauty? She reached out a hand and gently stroked his cheek.

"Winter doves flock to nest in your heart."

Oh, she spoke with such poetry. Spike had been an idiot to give her up. At the thought of the peroxided moron, something clicked into place in Giles' head. Spike's human name, his real name technically, had been William. Hadn't the striking wonder before him mentioned a 'Willy' not five minutes ago? Spike must have done something to hurt her. It couldn't have been a coincidence. He had to do something. He had to avenge her honour.

"I must go. I must defend your reputation." Seeing into his mind, or at least sensing his thoughts with that weird psychic power of hers, Drusilla laughed and brought her other hand up to cup his face.

"My knight, taking on the slayer's squire. How I do adore a duel in the morning."

Giles resisted the urge to point out that it was eight o'clock in the evening. He figured it was technically 'morning' for her anyhow, what with sleeping during the day. She pulled him closer to her and drew her tongue over her teeth.

"But first …" She leaned into him and pressed her mouth against his neck. She nuzzled his skin with her face, lifting her lips and gingerly biting his earlobe. Just as she was about to take their encounter to the next step, the bell above the door tinkled again as someone else entered the shop.

"Giles, in your rush to kick me out I forgot to say goodnight to the money and - "

Anya froze in her tracks and stared at the scene before her in bewilderment.

"Are you aware that Spike's crazy girlfriend is on the verge of tearing into your throat. Or that you appear to be enjoying it?"

"Ex-girlfriend" Giles shot back, his expression changing from one of blissful obedience to extreme annoyance. Anya marched over to the idyllic couple and stared.

"Have you gone insane? And what's that smell…?" Her eyes rolled up into her head as her body sagged in relaxation.

"Mmmmm…" She blinked and fixed her eyes on Giles. "That was weird. What were we talking about again?" Her gaze wandered over to Drusilla and a slow smile spread across her face.

"You have such pretty hair. Can I stroke it?" Drusilla tilted her head in annoyance and turned back to nuzzling Giles' neck.

For the third time that night, the bell chimed over the door as the last person in the world Giles would ever have expected, even more so than Drusilla, strolled over the threshold and into the store.

"'Ello there Ripper. Got yourself in a bit of bind there, hmm?"

Ethan Rayne grinned at him with that cocky smile of his and took a seat in one of the wooden chairs around the table.

"I thought I'd seen the last of you after the Initiative stepped in. What, making deals with government agents now?" Giles demanded, a cold edge in his voice. Ethan laughed and sprawled out in the chair like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"In case you've forgotten mate, the Initiative no longer exists. Your girl put a stop to that nice and thorough-like."

Giles sighed and braced himself against the counter as Drusilla's nudges became a little more forceful. "That doesn't change the fact that I have no desire to see you, now or ever."

Ethan cocked an eyebrow and crossed one leg casually over the other as he leaned forward in the chair. "I'd say you have a desire for something – or someone – completely different at the moment, eh Rupes?"

"My personal life is none of your concern. Now kindly be on your way." His words were genial enough, but his tone gave a different impression.

"Ah, there's the Ripper I know. Would love to get out of your hair, or what's left of it anyhow, but there's some business needs attending to first."

Giles raised a hand self-consciously to his head and glared at his former friend.

"You've got a potion I need." Ethan continued. "Renders the user invisible. Now, I'm perfectly willing to pay for it, but I think there's something a little more useful I can offer you in exchange."

Anya, who up until this point in the conversation had been braiding and smelling Drusilla's hair in equal turns looked up at him.

"More useful than money? I don't think so."

"How nice, the little capitalist is here. You know Rupes, we've never been formally introduced. That's considered rude in most social circles. Bad etiquette and all that." Ethan got up lazily from the chair and grabbed a glass bottle off the shelf.

"Hey!" Giles began, but was abruptly cut off as Ethan opened it and threw it over the counter at him. The greenish liquid inside splattered all over the twisted love scene behind the counter.

"What the devil do you think - " Giles started to demand, but was silenced when a pervasive clarity forced it's way into his consciousness. Ethan walked over to the shelf in the corner, pulled a glass bottle filled with a clear liquid off of it and stuck it in his coat pocket.

"Later then, Ripper. And don't worry. I won't tell. " Ethan laughed as he strolled out of the Magic Box, leaving the door ajar.

Anya was the first to fully snap out of it, dropping the lock of Drusilla's hair she'd been working on in alarm. "Why am I … What?"

She shook her head, and after examining the scene in front of her, the one she'd just been a part of just a moment ago, backed slowly away.

"I can't believe I've been braiding the hair of evil for the past fifteen minutes! I told myself I'd never let this happen!" She backed slowly into the front room. "Not again, anyway." She shot one more desperate look around the shop and finished her retreat to the door.

"Not a word, Giles, not a word!" She called out as she stormed away. Giles shook his head in disbelief. "Like I'd want anyone to know about this." He muttered.

"It was lovely seeing you again, Drusilla, but I think it's probably best that you leave now." He said, his voice satirical. For once, Drusilla was compliant, turning and drifting slowly towards the door.

"Heady perfumes and magicks taint me." She wallowed. "I must see grandmother!"

After she had finally gone, Giles stared at the mess around him: the stool broken into pieces, the two shattered bottles of liquid. Then he stepped right over them and out the door.

"If Anya wants that raise so badly she'll have to earn it." He muttered to himself as he locked up and went home.


End file.
